I thought I'd do a quick post today on skincare.
I'm heading ever closer to 40 so I'm starting to note the changing season of my life, the grey hairs that have blessed my head and the fine lines that now crinkle around the corners of my eyes when I smile profusely.
I had decided quite some time ago, after witnessing inspiring mummas around me who accepted their aging bodies with grace and power, that I would too, allow age to happen, not fight it, find the beauty in it and celebrate it.
There are a few liberating things that have happened along the way. One being the letting go of "products". I'm not anti-products really, I think the use of them can encourage and promote relaxation and that in itself is good medicine. However finding products suitiable for my cappacino skin has never been an easy task, in fact I disliked what was available so early on that I never truely embraced eyeshadows or such. Of course these days there is much more range, and if I were a young girl once more, the outcome may have been a different one.
In my younger years I had acne, it wasn't tragic, but being self concious about it made it seem like the world held a magnifying glass to it, and mean words by a cheeky but innocent young brother didn't help things. My mum tried a number of things to help me through it, bless her heart, the most memorable being the use of clearasil which actually bleached my cheeks! I soon learned that the best I could do was manage it through eating reasonably healthy, laying off the makeup and just plain ignoring it. Of course there was one thing I hadn't learned...and that was just to leave my skin alone. I had been indoctrinated into the idea that you *must" use a cleanser, toner and moisturiser. So for years I would feel guilty that I hadn't done enough, because I never was good at spending hours in the bathroom ....there was so much more important things to do.
So as I got older I ended up with adult acne which came and went with my hormones. Pregnancy and breastfeeding see's clear skin, a couple of years out and the hormonal acne returns. There are however a few things that I noted DID make a difference. And I thought I would list them here:
1) not using shampoos and conditioners.....since leaving products by the wayside my hair is not in a constant battle between being too brittle or too oily. Its just hair.
2) skipping cleansers and opting for water rinses (sometimes a bit of oil if I wore mascara..which is a once a year deal). Cleansers strip my skin of natural oils and I am now convinced that all that scrubbing/rubbing/cleansing actually did more damage then good.
3) go easy on the moisturisers. We all get dry skin now and then, as I age its becomes even more dry. I skip the moisturisers and instead make and emulsion in my hand with water and a few drops of oil. It is not creamy, it will not instantly plump your skin...and it will not stop aging. But it stops being dry. And that...my darling friends, is all that I desire. I have used jojoba oil and at the moment I am using rosehip oil. I also use coconut oil...which smells so yummy.
4) Don't look in the mirror. Seriously. Its really NOT that big a deal. If your clean, tidy then no amount of massaging, picking, plucking etc is going to make a huge difference to your appearance. Im sorry because I know some people would love to hear different, but I'm being dead honest. You look beautiful when you smile, less so when your stressed. So if your appearance is causing you anxiety, ditch the mirror obsession.
5) Use natural things on your skin - no I'm not talking about out of a tube, but out of the fridge, off a tree or out of your pantry....I have a few favorite little recipes that make me feel good and I might share those a bit later...but you can easily google or search pinterest for recipes for masks.
The golden tip for today : Ignore the bitches. Yes. I just said that. As a woman, I've had people in my life whose soul mission appeared to be shooting down my self esteem and ego. From the "you should make more of an effort" to the whole " let me fix your eyebrows, lips etc etc". My face does not need fixing.
Thankyou but fuck you. No really. If I feel like doing something and want your assistance I'll ask for it. Friends and family may be well meaning but sometimes its just plain mean.....lets think about it for a minute....what are you really saying when you say this to someone? Lets not assume everyone subscribes to the same notion of beautiful.
So hindsight is a wonderful thing...and now I have a beautiful daughter who seems to have inherited my *not so white* and sensitive skin...I want to make sure I'm reminded to tell her not only how beautiful she is, as my mummy did, but how she doesn't *need* all the products.
My skin if not perfect, but I'm happy in it...and I love that I got here.
As I said, some people love how certain things make them feel, so if products are it, go for it....lather yourself in self love....just know that you are divine and beautiful in your bare skin.